Breaking News: Rocky River, OH

I have been informed that Loretta Marie Serrano aka Loretta Dillon aka Lori Marie Serrano of Rocky River, Ohio, has ordered the following restrictions to bloggers.

"I am asking you to please remove the blogs over which you have control or remove references to my name in them. This has become a very serious issue with some very sensitive brokers in my business, and I cannot have this be a nuisance and impediment to my financial future and the well being of my children."

My sources confirm that Loretta Serrano flexed her muscles with a list of threats for noncompliance:

1) The Internet "Reputation" specialist blog destroyer solution.
2) The "defamation" lawsuit solution.
3) The "information" resurrection solution.

If you're as stumped as I am by this development, rest assured my resident analyst interprets it as, 'Until all my needs are met, your life will be hell!'

More details of this scintillating story can be found at:

The Truth Tree

and

Gone With the Wind

Stay tuned for updates.

Anne Curi, Travel Agent

Does the windchill factor make you dream of tropical climates?
Tired of spending upwards of $800 for a tank of heating oil?
Put the cold on hold... think CARNIVAL!

Brazilian Carnival 2008 begins February 2nd and the clock is ticking. Consulting with a professional travel agent is your best bet. Anne Curi, otherwise known as Anne from Brazil has sufficient expertise in putting together an itinerary that will make your trip a memorable one.

Just drop her a line <annecuri@gmail.com> and say:

“Hey, Anne! I have always wanted to go to Brazil. Seriously!”
Posted by: loretta (Serrano) at June 21, 2005 10:26 PM

Happy Anne will do her best to accommodate you!

“Loretta, I would love to have you here... now I am living in São Paulo, but we could easily plan to go to Rio, Bahia....1st International (or SA) Misfits Meeting!” ~Posted by: Anne (from Brazil)
at June 21, 2005 10:35 PM

She will also beat up your critics providing her husband agrees to modify his own travel plans!

"My address? Helf, the whole world, or at least HALF the Internet, has my address!I don't want any presents. I just want you all to go and beat up those meanies for me. I'll spring for bail for everyone." ~Posted by: E.F. Hutton (Loretta Serrano) October 25, 2005 at 04:43 PM

“Unfortunately, I am too far away to beat any of them. And I am not sure if I will be going to US this December, as I usually do (looks like Husband has other plans). Well, I will try my best to convince Husband that I NEED (would love) to know Arizona on our next trip to SF.
KFC is mine. (Katiec**lady)

What if I want to send you something? OK. I give up. No wish list. (But please, can you e-mail your address, just in case). On your B-day, instead of the $500, I will post that I sent you Tkts to fly to Brazil during Carnival (Mardi-Gras). What do you think?" ~Posted by:
Anne (from Brazil) October 25, 2005 at 05:05 PM

Backstage rehearsal:

“Here I am, ready for our Front Porch performance - let's have some fun: you start. Say something, like Anne, "are you kidding me? Is this for real?" Then I will give you details on your "trip" to Brazil. Are you in?” ~Posted by: Anne (from Brazil) November 13, 2005 at 05:26 PM

“Yes, Im' in. I'm in there now!”
Posted by : E.F. Hutton (Loretta Serrano)
November 13, 2005 at 05:28 PM

The performance: Act 1, Scene 1

“Happy Birhtday, Loretta! Surprise, Surprise. No, no kidding. It is for real. This is your birthday gift: Your are invited (all included) to come to Brazil- next Carnival (last week of February).

Reservations have been made and the air ticket will be issued and sent to you as soon as you are able to confrim if the dates are OK for you (or change it, if necessary). You will be leaving Cleveland on Feb, 24, (Friday) around 4:50 PM to Dallas to São Paulo (arriving before 9AM Saturday Feb 25). It is an overnight flight ( I usually prefer overnight flights), but there is another option through Miami that you would be leaving early in the morning and arriving around 11PM, if you prefer.

On your way back, you will be leaving São Paulo on the evening of Saturday, March 4th, and you will be arriving Cleveland (through Dallas) around noon- Sunday March 5th. Now we can start to talk about local (Brazilian) plans - Rio de Janeiro, Salvador (Bahia) dot dot dot I lok forward in seeing you here!” ~Posted by: Anne (from Brazil)
at November 13, 2005 05:33 PM

The Performance: Act 1, Scene 2

“Spanish is very similar to Portuguese. People will understand 100% what you speak, and they will speak what we call Portunhol (Portugues+Espanhol), equivalent to Spanglish. Anyway, people here are friendly. Speaking of CD's/music, do you know Gilberto GIl, the singer/composer? The one that is now the Minister of the Culture? Because we are going to get together with him during Carnival, in Salvador. He will be hosting a major event, a very beautiful and traditional party, and my husband (as a Director/Company owner) is invited. We are going too (very VIP).” ~ Posted by Anne (from Brazil) at November 13, 2005 05:48 PM

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I have heard of Gilberto Gil. I am going to have to listen to some of his music so I can be well versed when we meet. Outstanding!” ~ Posted by: Loretta (Serrano)
at November 13, 2005 05:51 PM

Backstage:

“Hey, Anne, the details of that travel itinerary are so good, I even thought for a minute it was true! HA!”
Posted by :E.F. Hutton (Loretta Serrano)
November 13, 2005 at 05:42 PM

“Anne, that Brazil trip sounds so great. it really could happen.”
Posted by: E.F. Hutton (Loretta Serrano)
November 13, 2005 at 05:54 PM

“El, I was thinking the same thing. It would be great. And everything that I am writing its true ( about Gilberto Gil, the singers.) There is an event like this. Aha, let's have more fun, who knows?? Maybe the dream could become truth?” ~Posted by: Anne (from Brazil)
November 13, 2005 at 06:02 PM

The Performance: Act 1, Scene 3

“You will probably meet all the major singers/composers from Salvador, Bahia at this event. It is a very traditional Carnival event and Gilberto Gil have been hosting it for years. You will probably meet Caetano Veloso, Gal Costa, Maria Bethania, Ivete Sangalo, Carlinhos Brown, Daniela Mercury, etc. We can also plan to go to Rio, before going to Bahia, and watch the Parade. What do you think?” ~ Posted by: Anne (from Brazil) at November 13, 2005 05:58 PM

“Anne, I can't think of anything more incredible than being among Brazilian musicians. You know that Brazilian music is one of my top three favorite genres. I only wish Tom Jobim were still around. God bless him.” ~ Posted by Loretta (Serrano)
at November 13, 2005 06:01 PM

Backstage:

“I have to go pick up L from Miss L's house. You can bet your right pinkie that she is reading the front porch and probably the kennel, too. If I hear anything from L's dad about going to Brazil- DING DING DING!! That will be the clincher. There is no way to know about that except to read the blog. I'm sure some of the kennel mutts are going NUTS.” ~ Posted by : E.F. Hutton (Loretta Serrano)
November 13, 2005 at 06:03 PM

“You would loves this trip in RL, EL, In Bahia, there is a new museum of modern art. The whole country is something else and most Americans travel east-west and in doing so miss Brazil. That's a shame.” ~Posted by: FlicckaPeggy November 13, 2005 at 06:08 PM

Bahia is one of the 26 states of Brazil , which is located in the northeastern part of the country on the Atlantic coast. Traveling from east to west makes sense unless one plans on departing by boat. Considering Brazil is the largest country in SA and shares common boundaries with every other South American nation except Chile and Ecuador it’s pretty hard to "miss" especially while you're in it...
that's if you're sober.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bahia

If there is a country called Bahia, someone should notify the CIA.
It isn’t listed in their “World Factbook”!

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/

Loretta apparently lost the copy of her travel schedule.

"Good morning, Nanny.
I couldn't get online after 11 PM and just now had problems getting the cable modem to stay connected. I think I'm on my way to Carnival today, right? Heh" ~Posted by: Merrill Lynch (Loretta Serrano) February 21, 2006 at 08:32 AM

"Merri, if you don't change the FP for the duration of your trip to Brazil,they will be left to wonder where you are. I don't think anyone will be callling your office to check. Boy, did mutt ever jump the gun. Hi Nanny, and thanks again and again for this place."
Posted by: Ma'am of War (Margaret)
February 22, 2006 at 12:03 PM

"Hey, when I went to Collyforny twice and to Houston I still blogged. It's not like I'm going to the Amazon rainforest. They have computers where I'm going in Brazeeel. heh! Why should I not blog?"
Posted by: Merrill Lynch (Loretta Serrano)
February 22, 2006 at 12:05 PM

"I could make up the whole thing. Anyone who asked me about it in real life, I could just tell them it was a fiction piece. It's not as though I haven't done that for years.

I think I need to come up with some fiction entries about Carneevall and Nanny can send me some authentic photos I can post. I only have to do a couple. Even if some mutt called the office, they would not know for sure it was me answering unless they ASKED for me. My Spidee senses will tingle in that case, anyway."
Posted by: Merrill Lynch (Loretta Serrano)
February 22, 2006 at 12:08 PM

Anne from Brazil has a new backstage nic.
It probably has something to do with airport codes.

"I agree. Just don't post at Yusnet, because they can see IP. My suggestion: If you wanna post at Yusnet, teach me how I can do it on your behalf and e-mail me what you want to post. We could create a new login Moniker just for this purpose, like "Retz*During Carnival". What do you think?" ~Posted by: Nanny (Anne from Brazil)
February 22, 2006 at 12:14 PM

"I can see that today's subject at the kennel shifted from MM
to Carnival and myself (my existence).
What am I supposed to do:
* Just read and laugh (w/ Anonymouse protection);
* Use my actual IP (from Brazil) and state that I am for real.
Philosophically, cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore I am.
Your thoughts, please."
Posted by: Nanny (Anne from Brazil)
February 22, 2006 at 11:46 AM

Usenet: 2/24/06 @ 10:34 pm
Ted wrote:
Say, weren't you supposed to be in Rio, enjoying Carnevalé right now? What are you doing still here?

Loretta/Retzq wrote:
“How would you be privy to my itinerary, Toad? It's Sao Paulo, not Rio. Where did you hear I was going to Rio? You really must keep up if you are going to be a full-fledged mutt.”

Usenet: 2/26/06 @ 1:20 pm
Ted wrote:
I wouldn't be -- but as it turns out, there is NO itinerary! You're
just trying to pull the wool over everyone's eyes (as is your wont). But this time you've been CAUGHT OUT!

It's NOWHERE! It's a pack of LIES!
You ain't going ANYWHERE
(except cold, dreary Cleveland)

Loretta/Retzq wrote:
“Actually, the invitation and the opportunity were genuine. I was unable to go because of my new job and childcare issues with school-aged children. Neither of which you would really comprehend.

It was a joke, as you demonstrate below. You are so stupid, you are calling me a liar out of one side of your mouth, not knowing anything about the trip or its validity (and it was valid, just not do-able), and then demonstrating how it was actually a joke set up by me and my friends to rattle the cage of your mutt friends. That, it did.

You are so obsessed with trying to discredit me, you discredit yourself in the process. Self-sabotage is a primary characterstic of malignant narcissists, BTW.

I could go to Brazil anytime I want, if I can arrrange childcare and time off. Big deal. My readers helped me go to California TWICE, Ted. You think Brazil would be any problem?

Jealous again, Ted? Nobody loves or admires you enough to invite you, all expenses paid, to an exotic location? I have been, several times. I have an open invitation to Brazil, Australia, London, various cities in California, various cities in Texas, various cities in North Carolina, Oregon, Kentucky, New York, Wisconsin, Tennessee, Arizona, pretty much you name it. I have friends all over the country and around the world. Do you?”

Backstage:

“I'm so sick of fakes and liars and those who support them. gawd. So, you know that Tr--dy and I had lunch last Thursday, and as predicted she twisted everything I said and flat out lied about the conversation and mentioning that she didn't want to do business anymore.

She's going to hang herself. Just like m*tt m*mmy and some of the other lunatics who are obsessed with harming me. They will all fail and hang themselves in the process." ~Posted by: Merrill Lynch
(Loretta Serrano) March 01, 2006 at 09:14 AM

Final scene:

“Oh my, CONGRATULATIONS! It is my first ketchup and post after my trip and such good news. Being nominated by a panel of judges comprised of "connoisseurs" it is a great accomplishment and it is your merit. Fingers and toes are crossed for the final.

PS - I am proud of being your friend!
(I hope this sentence sounds OK in English)”
Posted by: Anne (from Brazil) at March 6, 2006 05:24 PM

“Thanks, Anne. Welcome back. I hope your Carnival was fun.”
Posted by: loretta (Serrano) at March 6, 2006 06:09 PM

Fodor's: http://tinyurl.com/34497o

"Paulistanos (São Paulo inhabitants) work hard and spend a lot, and there's no escaping the many shopping and eating temptations. Despite -- or because of -- these qualities, many tourists, Brazilian and foreigners, avoid visiting the city. Too noisy, too polluted, too crowded, they say -- and they have a point. São Paulo is hardly a beautiful city; it's fast-paced and there's lots to do, but it's also a concrete jungle, with nothing as attractive as Rio's hills and beaches. Yet, even as the smog reddens your eyes, you'll see that there's much to explore here. When you get tired of laid-back beaches, São Paulo is just the right place to go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: Anne Curi aka Anne from Brazil aka Nanny went on to complete an internship as a foreign correspondent on behalf of Loretta Serrano under the pseudonym “Truth Teller”.

She continues to visit this site frequently.
I don’t have the foggiest notion why.

The Scoreboard - Final Tally

Having worn out their welcome at prominent message boards and other sites, members of the "idiot free zone" moved onto Usenet news groups which, for the most part, is unmoderated. One can google the leader's name and still read about the sordid mess created on that venue.

In case you missed it the first time around:

"Usenet is a worldwide network of newsgroups (also called forums or message boards) covering an estimated 40,000 (and growing) different topics. Users can post anything they care to, and often do so anonymously.

The sexually explicit content on Usenet newsgroups is often more extreme than that on adult-oriented Web sites.Moreover, sexually explicit Usenet newsgroups are conduits for advertising adult-oriented Web sites and can provide their users with a mechanism to swap sexually explicit material. Some Internet service providers carry a full line of Usenet newsgroups."

http://tinyurl.com/phfh4

I do not know what insatiable appetite prompts individuals to invade forums and browbeat in perpetuity. That type of ruffian behavior certainly isn’t related to anything intellectual or informative. I suspect the conduct is in direct proportion to a critically deficient level of maturity. In fact, most articles addressing "cyberbullies" are geared toward the adolescent population.

From a NYTimes article:

"The technology, which allows its users to inflict pain without being forced to see its effect, also seems to incite a deeper level of meanness. Psychologists say the distance between bully and victim on the Internet is leading to an unprecedented - and often unintentional - degree of brutality, especially when combined with a typical adolescent's lack of impulse control and underdeveloped empathy skills."

We have now seen this dynamic show up in adult interaction as well. The only difference I can determine is that teenagers tend to contain their bullying tactics among their peers. Somehow I don’t see them combing genealogy sites, posting bounties, rifling through tax documents, criminal records, or threatening to divulge detrimental information about their victim’s relatives.

Those who have been on the receiving end of this type of intimidation may have survived the earthquake, but the aftershocks are exhausting.

Loretta Serrano, Super Sleuth (2)

"Not to mention the fact that if this abductor was THAT GOOD, I assure you that he would have done this before and there would be other, unsolved, mysterious disappearances of little girls or boys. You must disregard your emotional reactions. You must put on your pointy little thinking caps and detach from your erroneous "feelings." Look at all the evidence. Listen to that 911 call. Read what Lunsford says (don't watch him - he has a way of distracting you). There are so many things wrong with this picture, including them CASHING IN on this tragedy, I don't know what more you need to think that HE STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN!" -Posted by loretta at March 1, 2005 10:42 AM

"In fact, the next person who suggests that someone from the church or someone from the neighborhood, or one of the 50 sex offenders in the however many square mile area or the milkman came in and took Jessie, you better bring me some evidence." -Posted by loretta at March 1, 2005 10:46 AM

"The more I see Whoseyerdaddy, the more he gives me the creeps. I think if he gets away with this and makes thousands of dollars, it will be considered an ingenious plan. I'm taking this one step further. I'm suggesting he planned it and that it was financially motivated." -Posted by loretta at March 1, 2005 10:53 AM

"That crossed my mind as well Loretta, as horrible as it is to imagine." -Posted by karenancy at March 1, 2005 10:54 AM

"I'm going to lay it all out for you in black and white and you can decide where this investigation should go from here. I think it will be fairly obvious. Follow the money, follow the dad." -Posted by loretta at March 1, 2005 11:27 AM

"Long, long ago in a far and distant past life, I stayed out late and partied with friends. Often someone would go for a "run" in the middle of the night, like say 2 or 3 AM. Quite common. Who's to say Mark didn't go for a little "run" that night (or that was his excuse) and really go home and take Jessica?" -Posted by loretta at March 2, 2005 07:28 PM

"Regardless of whether or not Mark did something or someone else did something or, in the unilikely event it was a predatory stranger, Mark's lifestyle has contributed to his daughter's disapearance. Notice that this is a common thread. Lunsford had a habit of going out all night. Carlie Bruscia's mother is a junkie. The Smarts let homeless men work in their house. The Van Dams were vulnerable because of their lifestyle choices. Unattended children are taken every day. -Posted by loretta at March 3, 2005 10:55 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't believe anyone sized up the situation more accurately than the following from Court TV's forum 03-18-2995 11:34 PM:

"The owner of the misfitting blog was particularly nasty in some of her comments against the father. I hope they come back to bite her in her sorry a$$."

Response: "Loretta? I'm not surprised..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A "bite in her sorry a$$" courtesy of Mark Lunsford.

http://goodtimber.blogspot.com/2006/06/mark-lunsford.html

Loretta Serrano, Super Sleuth (1)

"Just a little aside, here. I know some of you think I'm a little strange, and some of you know that I have made some bad judgments in my life, and some of you even think I am a conceited snob, but let me tell you something about this case. I was right.

I was so goldarn right about every single aspect of it, what I saw in my heart, what I imagined, how I read Scott Peterson like a book. It's vindication for me. I joke that RD read the blog, but the truth is that all the things I have been saying here for two years have been absolutely true.

It was the first time in my life that I was SO RIGHT about something. It was almost like a divine psychic phenomenon. I give God all the credit. I don't know why He gave me this vision or this consistent, day after day comprehension of this, because it has never happened before and may never happen again. But it happened with this case.

That should give you a good reason to believe that the outcome will be as I have predicted all along too. I am absolutely 100% confident of a conviction, and a spiritual awakening for millions of people because of this case." -Posted by loretta at November 2, 2004 08:59 PM

Riding high on the sweet smell of success that lingered in the misfit air in February of 2005, Loretta Serrano, super sleuth, formulated a few critical predictions regarding the Jessica Lunsford case.

'This is not a whodunit game, this is a find Jessica crusade.'
~~~~~~~~~~
"This is bogus. These people are whack jobs. That message board is a way to find theories that lead AWAY from the family. This is NOT a search for the truth. I condemn this effort and its perpetrators for obstructing justice. My two-cents. I'm sure they don't care for my editorial, either. Hey, I'm just going by the evidence and the statistics, people. Show me a scinilla of evidence that points to a stranger or even a "friend" abducting that child? When you do, I'll revise my stance." -Posted by loretta at February 28, 2005 08:18 PM

"This was an inside job. There is no doubt about that. I don't know if Mark is responsible for any of it, but someone in that house IS." -Posted by loretta at February 28, 2005 10:30 PM

"Not that we don't have plenty of Northern Ohio trash up here, mind you. I am convinced that half the country is comprised of white trash." -Posted by loretta at February 28, 2005 09:21 PM

"Seriously, let's take a look at the cases we have been following for the last two years and notice the alarming majority of parents or perps are WT: Carlie Bruscia's mom (her dad was AWOL in another state) Kelly Bullwinkle's mom (her dad was AWOL in another state) Jackie Peterson, The Barbees, Dodd, Jessica's parents, Michael Jackson's accuser and his family, Gary Ridgeway (Green River Killer) And, in my opinion, Danielle Van Dam's mother." -Posted by loretta at February 28, 2005 09:34 PM

"I don't know why y'all are getting paranoid and scared here and locking your doors. You've got more to worry about with the BOOGY MAN inside your homes than outside them." -Posted by loretta at March 1, 2005 10:11 AM

"I really don't think my 14-year-old son is snatchable, and anyone who managed it would probably be paying me to take him back, a la "The Ransom of Red Chief." And the boogey man doesn't live at my house. If Husband decided he couldn't live with me any more, he would simply tell me to get out. I've just got the heebie-jeebies." -Posted by vero [of Ronni’s Rants] at March 1, 2005 10:28 AM

"If you rule out dad and grandpa, who do you have left? You can't rule them out. I don't care how feeble he looks or if Lunsford says the right thing or cries on cue. You cannot rule them out. What do we have here, a kidnapper with an invisbility cloak and a magic carpet? People, people, people. Get real." -Posted by loretta at March 1, 2005 10:39 AM

The Eye of the Storm

Wikipedia describes Hurricane Katrina as the costliest and one of the deadliest hurricanes in the history of the United States. It was the sixth-strongest Atlantic hurricane ever recorded and the third-strongest landfalling U.S. hurricane ever recorded. Katrina formed in late August during the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season and devastated much of the north-central Gulf Coast of the United States. Most notable in media coverage were the catastrophic effects on the city of New Orleans, Louisiana.

Katrina is estimated to be responsible for $81.2 billion (2005 US dollars) in damages, making it the costliest hurricane in U.S. history. The storm killed at least 1,836 people, making it the deadliest U.S. hurricane since the 1928 Okeechobee Hurricane. Criticism of the federal, state and local governments' reaction to the storm was widespread and resulted in an investigation by the United States Congress and the resignation of FEMA head Michael Brown.

Loretta Serrano had her own brand of criticism regarding the Katrina disaster:

"Unfortunately, I can't see the future. I do know that bad things happen to bad people, and I do wish that the scum of New Orleans had all drowned in the flood, like an Old Testament purge. I expect most of them survived. Like cockroaches. And they are coming to a city near you." -Posted by loretta on September 8, 2005 09:38 AM @ misfitting.com.

There's another tempest brewing on the horizon with the eye of the storm located in Ohio. Hurricane Loretta, the woman who has spent over three years tracking down IP's, posting rewards on the WWW, utilizing the US Postal Service for diabolical purposes, following crime cases, analyzing parents of crime victims under a microscope, and threatening to expose real life names of those that criticize her online behavior, has FAILED to suppress a common childhood infectious disease over the last TWO YEARS!

It doesn't take a medical degree to realize that ten incidents of the same infection over the course of two years is NOT NORMAL! What happens when there is shared parenting with two households? Everyone involved has the responsibility of implementing preventive measures. In this day and age there is no justifiable reason for this type of infection to last so long. None, nada, zilch! Who's obstructing progress? Take a guess!

Loretta Serrano, you own it!

1. If you have not taken this child to a physician within the last year you are negligent.
2. If you say a phantom nurse gave you a diagnosis over the phone you are mindless.
3. If you refused to give that phone # to the child's dad you are delinquent.
4. If you think swimming in chlorine water kills most everything you are stupid.
5. If you and your son haven't been tested for the problem you are derelict.
6. If you don't realize this is a public health issue you are irresponsible.
7. If you think ten incidents are considered "extremely common" you are an imbecile.
8. If you allowed $$ to discourage you from seeking medical attention you are a sleaze.
9. If you think cutting off communication is prudent you need counseling.
10. If you lack the ability to resolve this uncomplicated problem you are incompetent.

"From: "Loretta S."
Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:55:17 -0400

Dear Ms. Loveliness, Please do not contact me via email, phone, letter or other means in any way unless it is an emergency situation regarding my daughter, Little Doe. Please be advises that any futher contact will be considered harassment. Thank you for your cooperation."

As previously stated, Loretta loves to make up the rules only to break them. Serrano's bootlickers promptly sent e-mails to Miss Loveliness containing depraved accusations along with assurances that they would support Loretta come hell or high water.

In the most demented act of desperation I have ever witnessed, Loretta and her understudies sent troublesome e-mails to a handful of critics accusing them of participating in a conspiracy to take her children away from her. It's quite a fascinating read to see her give such power to people who lack the potential to have any affect on her personal life, particularly in child custody matters. The composition ended with Loretta's typical goofy shakedown...

"You're the last one standing, Mxxxxx. And you're all alone. I know your name, where you live and will pursue action against you if you continue this charade. You have zero, zip, nada excuse to slander me. You need to stop. Now. I've had all I'm going to take. Have a nice day." Loretta Serrano

And from DeeGee Whitney...

"I will support Loretta, including financially, in any legal action she deems necessary to file against your actions. You have violated a child's privacy, and demeaned her publicly to the point where it could conceivably cause harm."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The harm has already been caused by a mother's obvious lack of concern, DeeGee!

Noun 1. infectious disease - a disease transmitted only by a specific kind of contact

The harm can't be cured online. It can't be stopped with threatening e-mails about ludicrous lawsuits. The harm will keep spreading unless your girl wakes up and becomes proactive! It isn't anything difficult to overcome. Nine reinfections in two years. Do the math!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2/14/05 - Slacker Moms Unite!

"While I attend to my kids’ primary needs: food, clothing, shelter, education, medical care, opportunities for enrichment, a safe neighborhood and more toys than I care to admit, I am not "Miss Barbara," and I encourage their independent play. I have learned the hard way that in order to maintain a manageable level of sanity, I need a creative outlet or two, several hours of quiet time, and personal space. "

4/14/05 - The Party’s Over

"Then there are those parents who refuse to sacrifice their self-indulgence, or defer gratification, or involve themselves in their children’s educational or social activities and, instead, orbit from a distance with only peripheral awareness. These parents are unfit. If their children miraculously escape harm from outsiders, they are surely harmed by the neglect."

-Loretta Serrano

Helpful Hints, Finishing Touches

Since the apartment was clean and the refrigerator stocked with food, Loretta Serrano's misfits shifted gears as suggestions headed in a different direction!

But first, a word from our sponsor: the Department of Children and Family Services in Cuyahoga County, Ohio.

http://cfs.cuyahogacounty.us/faq.htm

Fact: According to the Ohio Revised Code, Section 2151.421, there is a list of professionals who work with children that are mandated to report suspected cases of abuse or neglect. Among the professionals listed are: Administrators or employees of a child day care center as well as school teachers, school employees, and school authorities.

Ohio law protects any mandated reporter from civil or criminal liability and anyone else making a report in good faith from criminal and civil liability even if the report cannot be proven. By law, the department is required to protect the identity of the reporter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loretta Good luck with your inspection tomorrow. Keep us posted. Miss Loveliness sounds like a real prize. It's heartwarming when two such wonderful souls get together. -Posted by Utahgirl at August 22, 2004 11:25 PM

Loretta, be sure to put away the duct tape you use on the kidlets. lol I know you will pass the inspection with flying colors, much to the dismay of "Miss Lovliness". Most importantly, I am sorry L has to be subjected to this devious creature. -Posted by Anne-SC at August 23, 2004 08:42 AM

Loretta -- turn around and demand that CPS inspect faux-wifey's place too, since your daughter stays there sometimes. Tell them that if they're going to inspect yours, they have to inspect HERS as well. Because you are concerned about your daughter's safety over there. And when they find out where your daughter has to sleep (opposed to where she used to sleep over there), perhaps there will be a pok-mark on their record (or such). -Posted by feistyALgal at August 23, 2004 10:55 AM

Thanks for all the well wishing. I am not the least bit concerned. My apartment needs a good cleaning once a year, anyway. It was overdue! I even found some things I have been looking for for months! Meanwhile, as far as "sic-ing" the CPS people on Miss Loveliness, since I know that Little Doe's main danger there is psychological (and grows weaker every day because she is getting older and smarter and hip to Miss L's tricks) I am not going to waste the precious resources and time of the CPS caseworker to send her (or her associate in the next county) over to Miss L's house.

I refuse to play these games. Let them send the freaking SWAT over here. Send the marines! Send the young mormon men in ties! Send the Jehovah witnesses! Send the Avon Lady! Send the Fuller Brush Man! (rip off) Send the Kirby vacuum guy! (Had one already)

OK? Eff her and the horse she had to shoot. Meanwhile, if she and Mr. L decide to take me back to CSEA, well, ha ha ha ha ha. As Schultz would say, "I know nussink!" -Posted by loretta at August 23, 2004 11:06 AM

That's the right attitude- Eff-em -Posted by Redleg at August 23, 2004 11:48 AM

Trying to understand the situation. Is Loretta being scrutinized, her moterhood questionned as a fit mother? Good luck to you, Loretta! What an experience one has to live thru! There is something fishy about this Miss Loveliness. If I understood, she is your ex's wife or girlfriend? Does she reads your blog, even enter obnoxious posts? Could that be?

Remember that strange post on a Thursday or Friday night when all were making fun of Gnarlene? We were laughing so much, and just before everyone went to bed, there was this strange post, even questionning something such as the safety of your children? It sounded strange to me, as if someone knew you well, but yet again it could be me interpreting it wrongly. It was posted just before your trip to CA. It was out of caracter with all of your posters. Good energy coming your way! Impatient to hear from you! Good advice coming from all your dedicated friends, people who care! -Posted by Elisa at August 23, 2004 02:04 PM

This saga started back in March when Little Doe was visited at school by a CPS caseworker who was given the case after two "urgent - child in danger" phone calls came in on the tip line. Judging by the eventual interview I had with the caseworker, I realized that the "tips" came from Miss Loveliness, Little Doe's dad's girlfriend. Miss L is not married to Mr. L, and I never married him, either.

Anyhoo, the last time I spoke with the CPS woman, she told me she was closing the case. Apparently, because the first time she came over (and I wasn't home, because it was like 4:00 in the afternoon) she never had an official "home visit." So, that's what she's coming tonight at 6 to do. She told me it would take 5 - 10 minutes. She has to do it as a formality to close the case. She agrees the complaints are unwarranted and all the allegations are poopitus.

I won't go into the allegations, but suffice it to say, they were pretty hilarious, including that I walk around the house nekkid, smoking cigarettes. Who knows if Miss L reads here. I would not be surprised. She knows I write about the SP case, but if she wants to download my jokes and try to present them as fact, I have my website disclaimer on the front page.

The First Amendment protects my freedom of speech - "satire" is exempt from lawsuits. Just ask Al Franken. -Posted by loretta at August 23, 2004 02:12 PM

I realize CPS has to do what they have to do - but isn't there something you can do - Mrs. Loviness is really wasting time of the CPS when they should be out looking at the true child endangerment cases. You would think we could have a double edge sword - I just dont think people like that should get away with false allegations. -Posted by Johnna at August 23, 2004 02:24 PM

"Who knows if Miss Loveliness reads here. I wouldn't be surprised."

Golly. She's literate? Wonders never cease! -Posted by Utahgirl at August 23, 2004 04:11 PM

heh. Not very, Utahgirl. I'm not even certain if she is a high school gradjit. -Posted by loretta at August 23, 2004 04:12 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could be off target, but my sensibilities tell me the complaint originated within the school system. Why would a caseworker visit a school before going to the child's home? What astonishes me more is how everyone willingly buys into a one-sided version of the story... hook, line, and sinker. Fast forward to a response aimed at comments regarding Loretta blogging about being turned into CPS numerous times.

Usenet - From: "Loretta" @ Thurs 10 Nov 2005 19:23

No, that's not why they came. It was 3 times, and all of them were false allegations. I have the letters to prove it. Do you want me to fax you the copies? Do you know how often CPS gets bogus calls from idiots like Miss Loveliness? Do you know that your tax dollars are being wasted by people like that? When there are real children with needs and who are suffering from actual problems?

Do you know that the next time Miss Loveliness calls CPS that the prosecutor will be informed? Do you know that it constitutes harassment?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After three years of being bashed and lied about on the WWW by Loretta Serrano and company, Miss Loveliness defends herself...

http://thetruthtree.blogspot.com/

Misfit's Helpful Hints - Part 2

The helpful hints kept coming. In fact, one reader emerged from lurking just to give her opinion. This gal has the CPS inspection process down to a science. I will refer to her as "lurker" since she's not a regular poster.

Loretta, I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with CPS again. All the cleaning you have done sounds great and I'm sure you had planned to do that sooner or later anyway. (I'm going to do it too one of thesedays. ) It depends on the caseworker assigned to you but most of them don't mind clutter unless it's a safety hazard. They judge cleanliness more on sanitary or unsanitary than on whether or not you can write your name in the dust on your coffee table.

I would guess the first place they will look will be in your kitchen and specifically inside your refrigerator and your food pantry. S/he will want to see an adequate supply of healthy nourishing food. If you're running low on milk, eggs, fresh fruit etc., you'll probably want to make a quick run to the market. Or borrow some food from neighbor Dan's refrigerator. heh

Another suggestion -- if you haven't already done so -- make sure you have some of the children's 'artwork' displayed on the refrigerator door and some family snapshots also. If you don't have any artwork handy, give them paper and crayons and let them get busy now. Display as many photos as you can of the children when they were obviously happy and having a great time. Frame them and set them on the coffee table if you can. It doesn't matter if they were at the pool or a family cookout or whatever as long as they show them to be healthy and happy. Make sure you have some of your son but let more of them be your daughter or the two of them together. And of course, a few that includes you would be nice.

Saturate a cotton ball or two with Vanilla extract and hide them somewhere in the kitchen. It gives the house a great smell that suggests you have been baking. :-) I'm sure everything will be fine but I'll keep you in my thoughts anyway if you don't mind. -Posted by Lurker at August 22, 2004 07:22 PM

Make sure there is fruit out in a bowl -- it shows easy access to food. -Posted by feistyALgal at August 22, 2004 07:34 PM

I heard putting some cinnamon on a burner and heating it for a few minutes to make the house smell like something has been baked. -Posted by Barbara at August 22, 2004 07:40 PM

Oh, heck, this place is so clean, I'm not worried about it. The fridge is empty, but I have an excuse. I just got back from a trip. Besides, I never buy a lot of groceries, I don't have room. I shop like the French, about three times a week. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 07:46 PM

Loretta -- I would strongly advise at least put a few things in the fridge -- even if you have a good reason (you just got back from atrip), the case worker may still have a problem with that. -Posted by feistyALgal at August 22, 2004 07:51 PM

I shop like the French too Loretta but I think I would put a few basics in the fridge for the meeting. -Posted by Nan at August 22, 2004 08:15 PM

Sheesh! Never mind what I had to remove from the bookcases - forensic science, criminal law, how to murder people, arsenic made easy, three ways to get away with moidah...the whole thing. I had to put up the "Cat in the Hat' and all my cookbooks. Oh, I look so domestick now!! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 08:28 PM

Well if that vanilla doesn't get rid of the dead body smell, throw a couple of Bounce sheets underneath the chair and couch cushions! Put a little bleach and water in a spray bottle and do just a little"touch up" in the a.m. If you've got a vacuum cleaner that uses bags, stuff a Bounce sheet in there too! Don't know how it works with bagless ones, haven't tried it yet. -Posted by lighthouselover at August 22, 2004 08:29 PM

Hi Loretta, I just got caught up on the comments, and wanted to wish you good luck today! Every time my wonderful friend in a small Vermont village had Social Services sent to her home by her mean-ex, she baked bread before they arrived, and they always gave her glowing reports! An easier way to create that ambience would be a package of ginger bread -just add water, stir, and bake! -Posted by Vermonter at August 23, 2004 11:42 AM

Loretta, I would recommend putting some food in the fridge. CPS just made a little surprise visit to Mrs. Chokeman's house at the request of the police (just this past Friday). The first thing they did was check for food. They also asked her for two personal references...just FYI. They spot-checked the other rooms, and that was it. I was one of the aforementioned references and they have yet to call me thus far. -Posted by Surfie at August 23, 2004 12:31 PM

You'll all be happy to know I went and bought $67 worth of groceries (and I'm not done, yet.) I bought apples and bananananas and salad mixes, cereal, oatmeal, chicken, a few boxes of Stouffers (hey, it's the good stuff) and lunch food. Oh...and a big BOX O WINE and some pints of cheap Smirnoff flavored vodka (they make it down the street) and Zig Zags and a couple of cases of Little Debbies. -Posted by loretta at August 23, 2004 01:20 PM

I am always joking about drug paraphernalia and booze, because it is so funny to me. It's a running joke in my life, so don't take it seriously. -Posted by loretta at August 23, 2004 01:33 PM

Misfit's Helpful Hints - Part 1

Whether you do Spring cleaning, Fall cleaning, or simply wait until the caseworker from Children's Protective Services schedules an inspection, Loretta Serrano and her misfits offer some helpful hints.

Ok, I found some "scrubbing bubbles" (I don't know where I got it, because I have boycotted Dow for twenty years), I found some Fullerbrush products that I had forgotten I had (rip off) that I used on the floors and on the carpet. I have the carpet high traffic areas shampooed right now, and the scrubbing bubbles working on the terlit and tile. I will finish off with the window cleaner (a great product I got fromState chemical, so it's probably toxic as all get out) and put away all the dishes and clothes.

At least it will smell nice and clean in here. After all, perception is everything! It is really quite nice. Even my mother would approve. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 01:10 PM

What an obnoxious person this "Miss Loveliness is to make you go through all this! Rest assured that her Karma will be adjusted accordingly for all her efforts to sabotage your existence. -Posted by Nadine at August 22, 2004 01:18 PM

Oh, Nadine, don't feel bad. It needed doin' anyway!
So far I have shampooed the carpets, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom floor on my knees of course (the old fashioned way) but luckily we're talking some small floors, here. I have vacuumed the house, got the hoses out and did the ceiling and the sofa cushions and behind the furniture. I got all the cobwebs and residue I hadn't bothered with. I pulled up the oriental rug and vacuumed underneath, too. I dusted and waxed the furniture that's really wood, and cleaned the stuff that isn't. I pine sol'ed the walls in the hallway and bathroom.

Little Boy and Little Doe cleaned the furniture in their room, and I have done the usual bathroom stuff now. I just got a new shower curtain a few weeks ago, so that looks nice. I laundered all the towels and rugs yesterday morning. I have nothing left to do except my room. arrggh! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 01:24 PM

I have everything stacked up in my room that needs putting away or hidden! I will run all of it over to Dan's tomorrow. Meanwhile, I will make the beds (which will get messed up again before tomorrow night) and pretend to be finished! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 01:42 PM

Congratulations on the cleaning, Loretta. I'm sure you will pass with flying colours! I'm sure Miss Lovliness thinks you are taking all these trips on the child support, and dressing the kids in rags... -Posted by vero at August 22, 2004 02:22 PM

Oh, I'm sure you're right, Vero. That's what Astro thinks, too. The fact that I went to Collyforny twice (what nerve of me to take two weeks' vacation in ten years!) really rotted her holey socks! The ironic thing is, if Mr. Loveliness takes me back to CSEA for a review of the child support, he will only wind up paying me more! Will he listen? noooooo. Wait until he finally gets around to taking me back to the agency. He'll faint dead away.

Then I'll have to worry about Miss Loveliness murdering Little Doe to get out of paying $800 a month. The thing is, Ohio is very punative. It's almost a de-incentive for non-custodial parents to work. The best thing (and cheapest) is to live in the same school district and have truly shared custody. But, would Mr. Loveliness move? nooooo! Thus, he will get hammered big time if he takes me back. I tried to warn him. I also reminded him that he passed up the golden opportunity to keep the state out of our affairs and just strike a deal with me personally, but noooooo!

Meanwhile, she is probably filling his head with dollar signs of the savings she thinks they'll see if he takes me back. Unfortunately, five years have passed and needless to say, I would get a big cost of living adjustment. With an average of $250 a month in daycare expenses (much less than the $500 it was two years ago) and my health insurance, with our incomes staying the same as 1999 (and he must have gotten a raise by now) the award would be over $800 a month. It would serve them both right to drag me back to the agency. I should go back to Collyforny for Christmas just to spite that wench! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 02:30 PM

Yes, I could take him back any time. The problem is, if I do, and I get more money (which I will) that will just torque up Miss Loveliness' wrath. I would not put it past her to poison Little Doe or cause an"accident" or attempt to murder her in order to get out of paying the money. Seriously. I can't prove it, but I believe she would harm Little Doe. I know Little Doe has a guardian angel and that is why she has not succumbed to Miss Loveliness' previous attempts.

A judge would laugh me out of court if I tried to present that suspicion, so I just have to hope and pray nothing bad happens. I don't want to exacerabate the problem by taking him back and getting more money. If he takes ME back, that's another story. Then, it serves him right, I shrug my shoulders, and Miss Loveliness has no one to blame but herself. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 03:06 PM

Well, you don't even want to hear what "Alfie" owes me. He'll wind up in federal prison some day. No great loss. He's worthless, anyway. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 03:16 PM

(3/17/04: LUMP SUM TRANSMITTAL ENTRY... )http://cpdocket.cp.cuyahogacounty.us/TOS.aspx

It's horrible that you have to fear for your daughter's safety, Loretta. That thought would never have occurred to me. -Posted by Vero at August 22, 2004 03:24 PM

Miss Loveliness responds... http://thetruthtree.blogspot.com/

Oh brother! I decided to clean underneath the electric stove top (it's a new oven so it's not that bad) and I took those silver (well, they used to be silver) trays from under the ranges off and put them in the sink. I reached under the sink and saw a can that said, "Easy On..." Icouldn't read it, but saw the "Easy" part and thought it was oven cleaner. I sprayed it on the silver trays and the ceramic part of the stove under the range and nothing happened. Well, it got wet. Then I looked at the can and saw that I had just sprayed ironing sizing all over the stove! HA! I found the oven cleaner. It's "Easy OFF!" What a maroooooon. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 06:40 PM

I am going to camoflage the only bad drip tray from the stove with my new Calphalon skillet. It will look like I'm ready to sautee something delish for dinner! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 07:18 PM

WWW's Most Wanted

After bombarding Marlene Newell with obsolete currency and extinguishing the distant flame in Alfie’s sparse life, Loretta Serrano pondered the virtues of Cyberstalking.

"Cyberstalkers frequently follow their targets around the net, frequenting in chat rooms, message boards, newsgroups or mailing lists in which the target participates. At times they will also attempt to form relationships with those who are friendly with the target in order to get more information about the target."

I think that about sums it up in a nutshell. -Posted by loretta at October 8, 2005 01:35 AM

Not being the real friendly type, Slugger Serrano chose a unique method to pursue her quarry.

RetzQ wrote @ 10-08-2005, 9:23 AM

Announcement

I am offering a $500 reward to anyone who can correctly identify the woman who posts as "Just Amazed" on Usenet and over at Anita's site, aka "Interested" originally. Her IP headers can be found on her Usenetposts or I have her IP here as well.

According to her, she is married to an ex-detective. She is in the Mxxxxxxxx area according to her IP, but Ken traced it to Wxxxxxx, KS. She claims to have a second home in Cxxxxxxxxx, grew up in Cxxxxxxxxx and is returning there soon.

She claims to be going to the Cam Brown trial, so CG and Sadie might beable to find her there.

She claims to a lot of sordid personal history and e-mail me for that. I'm not sure if any of it is even true. I have e-mails from her that may aid in your search. This woman is stalking me and my children and needs to be reported and STOPPED. Any tips that lead to her identification will be rewarded as well.

Oct 08, 09:16 am by RetzQ

I am going to sweeten the pot: $200 REWARD on the real Identiy of "Anita Richman/Anita Newman/Anita Newname/et al." Or more. Depending on who wants to ante up. I have the $$ - and some.

When politely asked to remove the bounty notices or action would be taken, Loretta Serrano responded:

From: RetzQ @ Oct 26 2005 12:14 pm

Oh, yeah? Where is the Eff Bee Eye, Jxxxxx? Where are the lawyers? Who is going to call me? What are you going to do, exactly? Are you calling the pohhleece? The mayor? Your friends in government? You Private Eye buddies?

Since it's been a few weeks since you made this THREAT, I was just wondering when you were going to make good on it. When can I expect to hear from the AUTHORITIES?

Not only does she hack into the email account of the "persona non grata" that deserted her and her little boy six years ago, she will also communicate with your husband if you dare to criticize her.

From: RetzQ @ Wed, Oct 26 2005 4:45 pm

My promise to send Ms. Lxxx S's husband the heads up about what she was doing was followed up on. Just because she has indicated that it hasn't does not make it so. She is unwilling to admit what has really occurred and why she has been very scarce - completely absent over the weekend, as a matter of fact, and will continue to remain very scarce. The wheels are in motion here. I don't bluff.

Loretta seems to have a bottomless cash reserve that she spends with reckless abandon.

From: Loretta @ 11 Nov 2005 14:05:51

If anyone reading this has any emails from Dxxxxx/Peace/Samantha, I will pay you cash for them. Thanks!

Here's some bounty to clean your monitor.

http://tinyurl.com/okahm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Send In The Clowns Encore

Anyone that followed the Scott Peterson trial will remember Marlene Newell as a staunch defender of the accused and owner of the "Scott is Innocent" site. Whether you disagree with Newell’s point of view is a non-issue because the fact is Marlene and her followers had as much right to express their opinions, as did Loretta Serrano hers. Marlene also had a right to run her board the way she saw fit and those that didn’t like it had the same option that Loretta offers to her disgruntled readership … click the X in the top right corner of your screen.

Loretta Serrano is known to manufacture rules and then be the first one to break them. She subscribes to the "Do as I say, not as I do" mentality, which is probably why she spearheaded a campaign designed to harass Marlene Newell five days after Scott Peterson’s conviction. Newell’s solicitation of funds didn’t appeal to the blog mistress who otherwise enjoys reminding her disciples that she cheerfully accepts gratuities via Paypal. In fact, the Paypal logo occupies a prominent position at the misfitting.com domain’s main page for compensation purposes. Let's take a look at another day in the lives of the misfit clowns.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning Everybuddy!
Just for today--be yourself.
To thine own self be true.
Posted by karenancy at November 18, 2004 05:59 AM

Marlene wrote:
"If you are sending cash, just use the PO box address on the first post. Anyone from international, if you have US$, you can just send cash. If you want to send othercurrency, I'll see if my bank can exchange it."

I just know I have some Canadian loons around here somewhere. I think I'll send her a bunch of foreign currency. Maybe my mother has some Euros. I think everyone should send her a piece of foreign currency to that PO box and see what she is willing to do to exchange it! I can just see her with a bag of pesos clanking it on the counter in front of a teller saying, "Can you exchange this?" If you have something really obscure, like piasters or yen, all the better! -Posted by loretta at November 18, 2004 09:31 AM

Oh, Loretta! I have a bunch of (now worthless) European currency. I'm on it! -Posted by LallyC at November 18, 2004 09:34 AM

You're a genius, Lally! I think I have some Lire and some Deutchmarks, too! HA! Gnarl is so stupid, she'll take them to the bank not knowing they are obsolete. I think an envelope of Monopoly or "Game of LIfe" money would be a gag, too. If anyone has old European currency and isn't sentimental about it, pop it in the mail! -Posted by loretta at November 18, 2004 09:40 AM

Ha! Maybe I'll send her some left over Jamaican currency! -Posted by Monica at November 18, 2004 09:47 AM

i have some confederate bills i will be happy to send to marlene -Posted by louisiana chick at November 18, 2004 09:49 AM

Come to think of it...I use to have a 200 bill with Dubya on it. Heh! -Posted by Monica at November 18, 2004 10:06 AM

Woo-e-e-e- I have some old Korean won....when N.Korea and S.Korea were "won" country....hee hee.. Hubby got them back in 1950..they are "historic"....I was wondering if I would ever find a good cause...They are on their way this AM! Loretta...are whererucharcoalbroiled, suahahaha and crosstiewalkerstalker one and the same? -Posted by Grandmaboo at November 18, 2004 10:11 AM

Let's see, I have some old "Marcs Funtime Theatre" gold coins as well as some Chuckie Cheese money laying around..... I even have one lucky gold coin from the D.A.R.E. program! Perhaps an admonition to just say NO would help out?

Lo, if you need me to pick up mail or anything so you don't have to leave home, I can add a trip to my intinerary. (Unless deadlines have to be met.) Hope Little Boy gets better soon and that you don't get it! You can call if you need! (Cell after 10:30) Stay well. -Posted by BeckyB at November 18, 2004 10:11 AM

BTW...I didn't lick the envelope...I'm afraid the unmentionble one will check my DNA, MTDNA, RNA, IRS and SSN....she has friends in high places, ya know.....trembling and sneaking to the mailbox.....ssshh...... My friends....I wish to apologise for my offcolor "V" comment last night...The only excuse I have is too much reading of the Poison Site transcripts.....my brain was tilting to the left...... -Posted by Grandmaboo at November 18, 2004 10:17 AM

Even better, Loretta! I just mailed out an envelope of Monopoly cash! -Posted by LallyC at November 18, 2004 10:17 AM

I need the donation address (PO box), please. My e-mail is good. This is so fun! -Posted by Monica at November 18, 2004 10:20 AM

I have some Loonies and Toonies around from our trip to Toronto and I know we have some old British pounds as well. I can't resist sending the tokens from Greektown casino and from Blasters, the local arcarde. This begging is really shameless and deserves our utter comtempt, in my opinion. -Posted by Lisa at November 18, 2004 10:22 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apparently Lisa doesn't equate Loretta's Paypal button with begging.

Recognition from the San Mateo Daily Journal, Feb 18, 2005:

Marlene Newell, owner of the “ScottIsInnocent.com” Web site, has experienced the vigilantism of the He-Did-Its firsthand. When her site went live earlier this year, Newell received crank calls throughout the night and letters were written to her church demanding her excommunication. Hate mail filled her e-mail in-box, all because of Newell’s stance defending Peterson’s constitutional rights.

One of Newell’s biggest detractors is the operator of a blog “Misfitting.com,” Loretta Serrano. Serrano is clearly in the He-Did-It camp, and several lengthy and self-absorbed editorials can be found on her site. Serrano’s SII-bashing diatribes began to crescendo after Newell’s recent appearances on Court TV. So bitter is this one-sided rivalry, that Serrano and her followers secretly scour the TalkAboutIt.us forums to gather meat for another Misfit name-calling editorial.

Normally I would let these juvenile antics slide, except I noticed the pubescent pantomime was performed two days before the misfit clowns willingly injected themselves into the personal life of a complete stranger, namely Alfie’s latest fling, Eve. If these two entries don’t give you acid indigestion, I don’t know what will.

Pepto-Bismol anyone? ... http://tinyurl.com/zcjqz

Send In The Clowns

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought you'd want what I want. Alfie, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

~Stephen Sondheim

Whether or not Loretta Serrano knew she missed out on the St. Patrick’s Day prosperity is yet to be determined. One has to wonder how the unexpected largesse escaped her detection considering the camaraderie between herself and Alfie’s ‘ex’.

"Over the past few years, I have received a few updated pictures of his oldest son in correspondence with his ex-wife, and "met" his sister via e-mail messages." -6/16/05

Perhaps the ‘ex’ simply didn’t want to bother Loretta with such trivial matters? On the other hand, I hardly think Loretta would have dedicated a 3/17/04 entry to her Irish lineage had she been aware of the judgment. My hunch is Loretta’s private investigator slipped up and celebrated with one too many green beers that day.

Nevertheless, Loretta has her priorities and Alfie’s social life remained her primary focus. After hacking into his e-mail account and discovering he was communicating with a new squeeze in November, Loretta summoned the misfit clowns who engaged in what can only be described as a Vaudeville act.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can't believe what I just read. Alfie's ability to write all the right things absolutely floored me. I can really see how masterful an "N" can be and the ability to cater to her precise needs is eerie. Thanks for sharing, it is very helpful for others to see the extent of an "N's" deceit. -Posted by DetroitPaula at November 20, 2004 12:48 PM

Yeah, nauseating, isn't it? I am torn between hilarity and disgust. I do have her phone numbers, but I hate to blow my cover by e-mailing her or calling her, because then Alfie might blow a gasket. Let's see how it plays out first. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 12:51 PM

Love, Love, Love the Entry, Kinda like knowing you are about to see a train wreck. He sure has all the code words down pat. I can't believe Alfie didn't change his password. Of course, men are somewhat of an enigma. -Posted by Lesa at November 20, 2004 12:51 PM

I think one of the Secret Posting gals will have to warn "Eve." Someone from the area might be the most effective.The plan is to warn her by telling her that Alfie is also corresponding with another woman, and to say he inadvertantly forwarded an e-mail using it as a template and forgot to remove the original address. The best way to discourage these women is to arouse their jealousy and betrayal instincts. They don't listen to reason. They only get alarmed when they think he's two-timing them. Hey, I know the drill. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 12:54 PM

Hey Loretta, Since they have talked about pictures, I bet she would be interested in accidentally getting one of him and his forgotten son. -Posted by Lesa at November 20, 2004 12:59 PM

Loretta, don't blow your abilities to read those emails. Eve or no Eve I think in the long run you need that ability to keep an eye on this bastard. Really he is disgusting and to think he has the cutest son so full of energy and warmth this side of the Mississippi and he doesn't even acknowledge him! -Posted by DetroitPaula at November 20, 2004 01:03 PM

Today's wallpaper is of primroses, in honor of the path down which Alfie is leading poor Eve. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 01:05 PM

For whatever reason, Alfie uses his first son as sort of pity-fodder. He gains sympathy from women when they are told he can't see his son because his ex is a psycho, or whatever. He gains so much ground from that, he has incorporated it into his repertoire. Now, them knowing about a little kid he abandoned, that's a horse of a different color! -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 01:07 PM

So someone with good writing skills (leaves me out) .. should compose a letter to her saying that she received her letter by mistake ARRR -Posted by Ponder at November 20, 2004 01:12 PM

"Just imagining you brings a big smile to my face."

I heard and read this heart-warming remark several times from my ex, later to read it verbatim in prolific e-mails he sent to a number of other women with whom he was corresponding or attempting to lure into his lair of lasciviousness. What he is really saying is, "Just imagining how I am getting over on you makes me smile with smug, self-satisfaction, knowing what a sucker you are, and how much I am going to enjoy taking advantage of your naiveté and generosity!"

~~~~~~~~From the first entry of "The Narcissist's Handbook of Romance." Anyone who needs a review: LINK Let's see how many of these lines show up in future correspondence. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 01:16 PM

He never talks about ex number one, and since 2000 has not admitted I or Little Boy exist. When his last girlfriend found out about me, she was nonplussed. She let him hang around for another year or so, but considering she was a junkie, that's not hard to believe. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 02:06 PM

Frankly, I think it's because him being 44 years old and not having any Exes is just too hard to swallow. He likes to use the ex as his myth of learning his lessons about life, blah blah. Plus, since some of his family still live in Houston, as do his ex and son, it's easier just to admit to their existance in case his victim takes the bait and the story comes out. Little Boy and I are easy to omit from the personal history, but he will have to be careful not to let his new love get in touch with any of his sisters or ex wife! Then the jig is up. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 02:09 PM

That latest stunt from Alfie is horrible. I think you are better off having him out of Little Boy's life. I have seen ex-fathers take the opportuntity to lie their side of the story to the child and you don't need that. This is a job for the SPG. Can she write as if she is Eve and say "you're busted Alfie, I know about your trail of tears in Cleveland". He'll come up with a tale and she'll say WTH. -Posted by Pegasus at November 20, 2004 02:12 PM

Peg, we can create a fake e-mail address with her name in it somewhere. He is not all that observant and may not notice the subtle change in it. If we cause a Shakespearean farce, it would be very amusing, but he will figure out it originated from me and then I'll lose access to his email account! He has already had three e-mail accounts since we split up, but he always winds up sending me something down the road, and I find out what his new address is. -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 02:15 PM

Isn't he still estranged from the sisters, though? It disturbs me that Eve doesn't capitalize her sentences especially that biggie giveaway "I." That screams no self esteem even before you read her words. -Posted by Astrologer at November 20, 2004 02:21 PM

someone write it and I will send it from Canada .. -Posted by Ponder at November 20, 2004 02:27 PM

Back to Miss California - let us not get too concerned yet. First of all, Alfie has no home, so he is probably boarding somewhere cheap, or in a homeless shelter and using the library computer. Thus, he will not invite her for a visit! Second, he has no way of getting to Collyforny unless Eve sends him a ticket. If we get wind of her offering that, we'll step in and intervene. I can hear the wheels in Ponder's mind churning as we speak! -Posted by loretta at November 20, 2004 02:42 PM

LOL Lo .. she needs to be saved. -Posted by Ponder at November 20, 2004 02:46 PM

Poor Eve. Alfie knows she is a lonely homeowner. The plea for a ticket should be coming soon with winter almost here. It's cold in OH for the next 6 months. Ok, back to the SPG. Let's have "EVE" send the very same letter only addressed to .oh-let's say Scott, and post it to Alfie by mistake? Would Alfie understand that he had received a form letter? Would he even care or just go on to the next sap? You're right, Loretta, you can't lose your access to this gold mine by tipping your hand. It sure is fun to plot, though. -Posted by Pegasus at November 20, 2004 03:02 PM

I agree with the conservative approach -- I LOVE it that you have access to his email account (I'm a pinch jealous, in fact), and you don't want to risk blowing your cover unless it looks like she's about to get taken.

Alfie grunted: "You have peaked my interest and I look forward to uncover more wonders regarding you."

Fall for this stuff online? Never in a million years. Lines like that have "loser" written all over them. These guys are SO all alike. -Posted by Hannah at November 20, 2004 05:28 PM

Another gem from the wonderful man who shares my home: I was reading him the 'Alfie' emails and he said, "Somebody needs to save those in case that woman ends up dead." -Posted by Barbara at November 20, 2004 05:50 PM

(Basking in the afterglow...)

Oh, and for the record, I am mostly always right. I think I have been wrong once in recent memory. Otherwise, I am batting .900 -Posted by loretta at November 21, 2004 07:48 PM

How do you suppose the following squares with the portrait of Alfie living in a homeless shelter?

"Have you been able, Loretta, to pin down where he is supposedly working?"

I know better than to call child support because they won't tell me. I have been getting a whopping $80 a week since early November, so I am going to kind of miss that little windfall when he relocates. It could be months before he gets a new job. -Posted by loretta at December 10, 2004 01:58 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He never talks about ex number one, and since 2000 has not admitted I or Little Boy exist."

Dead Beat Dads - Part 2

A few months before Loretta Serrano introduced Alfie to the misfits through a cliff hanging mini-series, a Uniform Support notice was sent by certified mail to Edgar G. Serrano in Cleveland, Ohio. The notice was dated 6/4/03, which coincided with Loretta’s entry describing her daughter’s wedding odyssey. In fact, while Loretta attended the marriage ceremony, court records indicate that legal research was being conducted on case # DR-03-293041.

Uniform Interstate Family Support Act: http://tinyurl.com/zmhme

Loretta entertained her audience with chronicles of a wayward Alfie, the fastidious, suave, captivating Adonis she had the good fortune of meeting at one of those online personal ad sites. She wrote about their first date, captured the essence of a brief whirlwind courtship, and casually touched upon details of intimacies in their relationship, which resulted in a positive pregnancy test. Indeed, Alfie seemed like every woman’s dream come true until readers learned about his unconventional use of spray starch and inclination to dispose of diapers in a Frisbee fashion according to Loretta.

When the honeymoon was over, it came as no surprise that Alfie moved on with his life severing all personal and financial ties, a routine that lasted through 2003 when Loretta’s illustrative briefings about Alfie were in sharp contrast to the misfit’s introductory observations.

"Occasionally I hear from Alfie, usually when he misses curfew at a shelter or has worn out his welcome in the flophouse. As long as Alfie was an active addict, homeless, jobless, car-less and soulless, he was a persona non grata in our lives." -Posted by loretta at 08:12 PM

While Loretta was engrossed in determining the best way to spend her $400 US Treasury windfall, the following judgment was entered into Edgar's case record:

8/20/03: "ORDER REGISTERING THE PARTIES' TEXAS COURT ORDER PURSUANT TO ORC 3115.40....RESPONDENT SHALL PAY $510.00 PER MNTH FOR CHILD AND $100.00 PER MONTH TOWARD ARREARS.........TOTAL AMOUNT OF $610.00 PER MONTH SHALL BE PAID THROUGH CSPC...COSTS TO RESPONDENT"

Within seven months an additional judgment was noted:

3/17/04: LUMP SUM TRANSMITTAL ENTRY..OBLIGOR'S INCOME SOURCE BRIDGESTONE/FIRESTONE INC HAS NOTIFIED CSEA THAT A LUMP SUM IS TO BE PAID TO OBLIGOR....INCOME SOURCE SHALL: TRANSMIT SUM OF $56,240.03 OR ENTIRE LUMP SUM TO OHIO CHILD SUPPORT....OSJ VOL 4288 PG 0878.....NOTICE ISSUED.

Destination: Houston!
Courtesy of: The Attorney General of Texas
Sponsored by: The Uniform Interstate Family Support Act
Directed by: The Cuyahoga County, Ohio Court of Common Pleas

http://cpdocket.cp.cuyahogacounty.us/p_CV_All.aspx

Final tally:
G. Serrano – 2
Loretta Serrano – 0
Little Boy - 0
Edgar Serrano - "persona non grata"

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.

Dead Beat Dads - Part 1

On October 20, 2000 the state of Ohio filed a criminal complaint, on behalf of Loretta Serrano, in Avon Lake Municipal Court charging Edgar G. Serrano with domestic violence, a 1st degree misdemeanor. An Affidavit of Indigency was denied because the defendant’s income was too high. Edgar Serrano (Alfie) pled no contest and was found guilty on 10/26/2000. He chose the extended six-year payment plan to satisfy his $313.00 court debt and was sentenced to ten days in jail, which was twenty days shorter than Loretta’s suspended sentence from her ’98 assault conviction.

Case information: http://tinyurl.com/keg56

Docket: http://tinyurl.com/eu458

One might assume the next logical step would be to seek child support through the proper agencies on behalf of the minor, but Loretta Serrano marched to the beat of a different drum.

Loretta wrote: "When I contacted Alfie’s ex-wife in October 2000 to make her aware of my existence and that of my little boy’s, and to warn her that Alfie might be headed back to Houston, she responded to my letter with surprise and curiosity. For the first year or so, Alfie attempted to poison my impressions of his family and ex-wife to discourage me from communicating with them, since he knew they would expose his many misrepresentations and fantasies.

For awhile, I resisted the temptation to defy his mandate that I avoid researching his background through friends and family in Texas; but when he went to Houston without us that autumn, I no longer worried about his wrath. I was much more interested in tracking down Little Boy’s relatives and establishing a relationship with them for his sake." – June 16, 2005

(Note: In October 2000, Alfie was headed to jail in Ohio... not Houston!)

"For example, in the early stages of my first break-up with Alfie (when he had been sent to jail and came out and was living with a co-worker), I was completely obsessed with where he was, who he was seeing, what he was doing, and his personal ads. I inserted myself into his fake love life and warned his potential victims of his history. Some of them ran, one or two of them took him anyway and lived to regret it. During that time, I almost wrecked my car in a blizzard after discovering he was about to move to Texas into some woman's home who thought he was the cat's pajamas.

His ex wife and I thwarted that move, too." -Posted by loretta at July 17, 2005 10:12 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I get a warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that Loretta developed a rapport with Alfie’s ex-wife. Even more pronounced, is the overwhelming joy of recognizing Loretta's chivalry by allowing the "ex" to participate in her dedicated effort to keep Alfie on the straight and narrow. But familiarity doesn’t deposit food on the table nor does it put clothes on a child’s back. Since Mrs. Serrano openly admits that child support payments from the deserter are few and far between, I presume Loretta’s indigent status made a remarkable pecuniary turnaround between 1998 and 2000.

So now, the question is… where’s the bash blog dedicated to Edgar G. Serrano (Alfie)? What’s up with that oversight, Anne Curi? The dirty rotten scoundrel absolutely deserves his own tribute blog! You can bet a month's wages Loretta has a file on Alfie that covers the distance from Rocky River to Houston!

You interfere in the life of a man that’s been supporting his daughter for ten years? A man who remains faithful to prescribed visitation arrangements? You construct a spite blog to humiliate his domestic partner who accepted the responsibility of caring for the child on those visits for the last decade? Edgar Serrano isn’t a blip on your radar screen for abandoning his son? Are you serious?

What kind of a friend are you, Anne Curi? If you’re capable of breathing life into deceased relatives and publishing false accusations about people you don’t know including a concocted history about their family just because they criticize Lady Disdain, you can certainly throw something together about a real life Dead Beat Dad! Don’t forget to write about the Serrano family reunion... the one Alfie didn’t attend.

Anne from Brazil aka TruthTeller?

What a joke!

NYT Special Edition - Page 5

Continued from page 4

Back Story

In 2003, on slow Peterson news days, Loretta Serrano treated her readership to snippets of her personal life. She shared "Recovery Journals", preached about narcissism ad nauseum, and introduced ‘Jane Doe’ as Miss Loveliness in her entry about the 1998 altercation. Posters recollect how Loretta portrayed herself as the victim. A missing component in her version was the criminal conviction and the fact that Miss Loveliness was pregnant. Loretta was slick. She gathered sympathy from her supporters as she described risking life and limb driving through a blizzard to retrieve her daughter who she claimed was being 'unlawfully held'. The truth is, the blizzard was a figment of her imagination as was the fantasy hostage situation.

http://tinyurl.com/osd84

"It was snowing like hell when I left Mentor, which is in the "snow belt" on the east side, and it snowed like hell the next day when I had to go back to the MPD (not to be confused with the Modesto Pohleece Dept.) As I have been saying, Miss Nott has omitted many things from her side of the story. MANY." -Posted by WMD aka Loretta Serrano 10.02.06 - 2:03 pm @'The Pound Blogspot'.

Recorded monthly snow depth
December, 1998 - (Cleveland, Ohio)

Max - 2 in., Avg - 1.7 in., Min - 1 in.

http://tinyurl.com/gkuyc

Mentor Police Department Supplemental Report 98-43406
"On 12/29/98 @ 19:45 hours, Smith had not contacted me or come into the MPD to complete a statement. This report will be forwarded to the city prosecutor for review of assault and aggravated trespass charges on Smith." -Reporting Officer, Ptl. M. Turek 360

And when a CPS caseworker scheduled an inspection of Loretta’s apartment in 2004, Miss Loveliness took the heat again as Loretta’s illusions spiraled into another dimension.

"Yes, I could take him back any time. The problem is, if I do, and I get more money (which I will) that will just torque up Miss Loveliness' wrath. I would not put it past her to poison Little Doe or cause an "accident" or attempt to murder her in order to get out of paying the money. Seriously. I can't prove it, but I believe she would harm Little Doe. I know Little Doe has a guardian angel and that is why she has not succumbed to Miss Loveliness' previous attempts.

A judge would laugh me out of court if I tried to present that suspicion, so I just have to hope and pray nothing bad happens. I don't want to exacerabate the problem by taking him back and getting more money. If he takes ME back, that's another story. Then, it serves him right, I shrug my shoulders, and Miss Loveliness has no one to blame but herself."

Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 03:06 PM

In an entry dated March 3, 2005, Loretta Serrano talked about Internet frauds. She described how the alleged charlatans never fooled her.

"Not me. I laughed at her, at the gullible people who believed her, and at her eventual implosion when the curtain was ripped open. " –Loretta

She went so far as to accuse a poster from a well-respected blog of perpetrating a scam on that site’s readership. She vehemently accused the woman of faking a cancer diagnosis without one scintilla of evidence to support her assertions. Loretta concluded her expose with a stern warning to her readership.

"Any message board moderator or website host who discovers one of their members or posters is a fraud and who does not address that issue or ban that person is committing a grievous disservice to their community. It is a complete breach of trust to be complicit with fraud. Read, comment and lurk at will, and if you misbehave, I will delete, ignore or ban you at will. I will also expose you if I believe you are a fraud." -Loretta

Staff reporters Justin Quiring and Wendy Shoofitz contributed to this report.