Misfit's Helpful Hints - Part 1

Whether you do Spring cleaning, Fall cleaning, or simply wait until the caseworker from Children's Protective Services schedules an inspection, Loretta Serrano and her misfits offer some helpful hints.

Ok, I found some "scrubbing bubbles" (I don't know where I got it, because I have boycotted Dow for twenty years), I found some Fullerbrush products that I had forgotten I had (rip off) that I used on the floors and on the carpet. I have the carpet high traffic areas shampooed right now, and the scrubbing bubbles working on the terlit and tile. I will finish off with the window cleaner (a great product I got fromState chemical, so it's probably toxic as all get out) and put away all the dishes and clothes.

At least it will smell nice and clean in here. After all, perception is everything! It is really quite nice. Even my mother would approve. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 01:10 PM

What an obnoxious person this "Miss Loveliness is to make you go through all this! Rest assured that her Karma will be adjusted accordingly for all her efforts to sabotage your existence. -Posted by Nadine at August 22, 2004 01:18 PM

Oh, Nadine, don't feel bad. It needed doin' anyway!
So far I have shampooed the carpets, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom floor on my knees of course (the old fashioned way) but luckily we're talking some small floors, here. I have vacuumed the house, got the hoses out and did the ceiling and the sofa cushions and behind the furniture. I got all the cobwebs and residue I hadn't bothered with. I pulled up the oriental rug and vacuumed underneath, too. I dusted and waxed the furniture that's really wood, and cleaned the stuff that isn't. I pine sol'ed the walls in the hallway and bathroom.

Little Boy and Little Doe cleaned the furniture in their room, and I have done the usual bathroom stuff now. I just got a new shower curtain a few weeks ago, so that looks nice. I laundered all the towels and rugs yesterday morning. I have nothing left to do except my room. arrggh! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 01:24 PM

I have everything stacked up in my room that needs putting away or hidden! I will run all of it over to Dan's tomorrow. Meanwhile, I will make the beds (which will get messed up again before tomorrow night) and pretend to be finished! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 01:42 PM

Congratulations on the cleaning, Loretta. I'm sure you will pass with flying colours! I'm sure Miss Lovliness thinks you are taking all these trips on the child support, and dressing the kids in rags... -Posted by vero at August 22, 2004 02:22 PM

Oh, I'm sure you're right, Vero. That's what Astro thinks, too. The fact that I went to Collyforny twice (what nerve of me to take two weeks' vacation in ten years!) really rotted her holey socks! The ironic thing is, if Mr. Loveliness takes me back to CSEA for a review of the child support, he will only wind up paying me more! Will he listen? noooooo. Wait until he finally gets around to taking me back to the agency. He'll faint dead away.

Then I'll have to worry about Miss Loveliness murdering Little Doe to get out of paying $800 a month. The thing is, Ohio is very punative. It's almost a de-incentive for non-custodial parents to work. The best thing (and cheapest) is to live in the same school district and have truly shared custody. But, would Mr. Loveliness move? nooooo! Thus, he will get hammered big time if he takes me back. I tried to warn him. I also reminded him that he passed up the golden opportunity to keep the state out of our affairs and just strike a deal with me personally, but noooooo!

Meanwhile, she is probably filling his head with dollar signs of the savings she thinks they'll see if he takes me back. Unfortunately, five years have passed and needless to say, I would get a big cost of living adjustment. With an average of $250 a month in daycare expenses (much less than the $500 it was two years ago) and my health insurance, with our incomes staying the same as 1999 (and he must have gotten a raise by now) the award would be over $800 a month. It would serve them both right to drag me back to the agency. I should go back to Collyforny for Christmas just to spite that wench! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 02:30 PM

Yes, I could take him back any time. The problem is, if I do, and I get more money (which I will) that will just torque up Miss Loveliness' wrath. I would not put it past her to poison Little Doe or cause an"accident" or attempt to murder her in order to get out of paying the money. Seriously. I can't prove it, but I believe she would harm Little Doe. I know Little Doe has a guardian angel and that is why she has not succumbed to Miss Loveliness' previous attempts.

A judge would laugh me out of court if I tried to present that suspicion, so I just have to hope and pray nothing bad happens. I don't want to exacerabate the problem by taking him back and getting more money. If he takes ME back, that's another story. Then, it serves him right, I shrug my shoulders, and Miss Loveliness has no one to blame but herself. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 03:06 PM

Well, you don't even want to hear what "Alfie" owes me. He'll wind up in federal prison some day. No great loss. He's worthless, anyway. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 03:16 PM

(3/17/04: LUMP SUM TRANSMITTAL ENTRY... )http://cpdocket.cp.cuyahogacounty.us/TOS.aspx

It's horrible that you have to fear for your daughter's safety, Loretta. That thought would never have occurred to me. -Posted by Vero at August 22, 2004 03:24 PM

Miss Loveliness responds... http://thetruthtree.blogspot.com/

Oh brother! I decided to clean underneath the electric stove top (it's a new oven so it's not that bad) and I took those silver (well, they used to be silver) trays from under the ranges off and put them in the sink. I reached under the sink and saw a can that said, "Easy On..." Icouldn't read it, but saw the "Easy" part and thought it was oven cleaner. I sprayed it on the silver trays and the ceramic part of the stove under the range and nothing happened. Well, it got wet. Then I looked at the can and saw that I had just sprayed ironing sizing all over the stove! HA! I found the oven cleaner. It's "Easy OFF!" What a maroooooon. -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 06:40 PM

I am going to camoflage the only bad drip tray from the stove with my new Calphalon skillet. It will look like I'm ready to sautee something delish for dinner! -Posted by loretta at August 22, 2004 07:18 PM